USING PORN OR SEX TO COPE WITH STRESS, SHAME OR PAIN?

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YOU ARE NOT ALONE

These are certainly stressful times now and if you've come looking for a healthier way to deal with stress, know that you're not alone.  If you are struggling with compulsions to view pornography or purchase sex, first know this: solutions exist and it is possible to truly overcome, no matter how deeply you believe you are entrenched.  Others have paved the way, experiencing life-changing and enduring freedom.

SIGNS

Do you feel the need to hide your pornography consumption or sexual behaviors?

Do you feel that sexual thoughts or behaviors are controlling you?

Have you ever paid or exchanged gifts for sexual services of any kind?

Are your current sexual habits affecting your personal relationships?

It's Not victimless

  • Pornography actors and actresses are acting. Some of them have been tricked, forced, or pressured. Sometimes the images you are consuming are videoed rape and human trafficking. 
  • Not everyone in pornography is over age 18, even on mainstream porn sites. The industry isn't well regulated. Pornography of anyone under the age of 18 is child pornography and it is a felony for producing, possessing, or sharing explicit images of a child.
  • Compulsively viewing pornography can harm your relationships with your partner and children.

Where to Start

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Tell Someone you trust

Whether it's just a friend, pastor, mentor or a counselor we need to start by talking about this.  Shame of compulsive pornography viewing or compulsive sexual behavior thrive in darkness and sharing with someone else begins the process of opening the windows to let light in so that we can begin cleaning up the mess our addiction has created.

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Seek help in community

Sex addiction or compulsive behaviors are overwhelmingly powerful and our lives have demonstrated that we are powerless to change on our own.  We need others who can provide non-judgmental support and guidance to show us how to change.  Counseling is an excellent place to start because it is private and professional.  Support groups are an excellent way to supplement counseling and help us develop courage to trust others who have been through addictions and accelerate positive change in our lives.

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Educate Yourself

Once you have the power of human connection, trust, support, and encouragement motivating you to change from steps #1 and #2, you can accelerate and fortify your change further by educating yourself on your behaviors.  There are massive biological, emotional, spiritual, and relational implications of compulsive behaviors that profoundly impact our lives and the lives of those around us.  Learning how our thinking and past experiences have influenced our current habits enables us to understand how we can think and behave differently to change our lives for the better. 

Find a counselor

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What to look for in a counselor or psychologist?

Therapists who are likely to be effective in treating and/or assessing and providing treatment recommendations/referrals for individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors may have expertise in general addiction counseling and/or other evidence-based treatments such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy; Dialectical Behavior Therapy; Motivational Enhancement Therapy

Find community

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Find a meeting

Sex Addicts Anonymous: "A Fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others to recover from sexual addiction or dependency"


Fortify: Online Support Community to support you while you quit pornography consumption

Stories of Recovery

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Be free from shame

Restore relationships

Be free from shame

When I was stuck in the middle of my sex addiction, I always felt like I was carrying a 100 pound burden on my back everywhere I went. I was always looking over my shoulder wondering when my secret would be found out. After I confessed and began to work through everything in counseling and in a support group, my marriage became more fulfilling than I imagined it could be, I felt a sense of freedom I’d never experienced before, and my whole life changed for the better. 

-- Anonymous

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Find healing

Restore relationships

Be free from shame

I remember the first time.  I remember the destruction that it lead to so many years later.  Rubble that I still sift through every day.  Wrongs that I can't right and questions that have no answers.  Through God's grace those mistakes were erased, questions were answered and mercy poured out daily.  I was lost in a sea of desires but God has delivered me.  My loved ones are still scarred but love me and give praise to the One who delivered me.  I have found something that deserves my devotion and it's not my sex addiction anymore.

--Anonymous

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Restore relationships

Restore relationships

Restore relationships

Who am I? I’m your average guy who grew up without a consistent father. Due to the lack of love, it was only a matter of time before the screen began to call my name. You see in my moments of weakness and desire for affirmation, I sought those things that I knew would not please me. For 20 years, almost which all of it being in Los Angeles took me down a path that led me to wearing a mask. I thought I could control it but the porn addictions got worse and worse until I was paying escorts. All the while I was in church only wearing a mask. Time began to fade and I finally saw the light. I sought help and recovery. I realized I was a slave. It’s been a while but I’m now further along in my recovery than ever. There are still struggles at times but now I’m engaged in war moment by moment determined through the power of Christ. His love for me is my rock and anchor. I hope you will reach out too if your struggling. There is hope and help.

--Anonymous